Day One
5:30am Awakened by screaming Lamb as DH attempts to give a bottle containing no water, only powdered formula. Point to the bottle of water on the nightstand, roll over, go back to sleep.
6:30am Awakened to say goodbye to DH, Lamb laid in arms and bottle given. Listen to Frog and Duck play as Lamb eats.
7:30am Change and put Lamb down. Proceed to take care of daily needs, such as inserting contact lenses backwards. Curse. Reinsert contacts, finish morning grooming.
8:00am Release the hounds Call Frog and Duck to breakfast table, complete with cereal and juice. Realize we're out of milk. Curse. Let children eat dry cereal and watch Noggin. Contemplate making coffee. Realize we're also out of creamer. Curse. Check to see if Diva's home to lend some. She's not. Curse.
8:45am Frog and Duck finish food fight eating, lure them into their room with Blue's Clues DVD. Lamb screams from his bassinet. Pick up Lamb, pacify with swing.
9:00am Strip all the beds, place sheets in wash. Realize we're out of laundry detergent. Curse. Find old bottle of detergent left by parents two years ago, make due with that and start washer.
9:30am Lamb screams from swing. Prepare bottle to feed Lamb. Realize that this is the last of the formula. Curse. Feed Lamb.
10:00am Change all diapers and/or pull-ups. All three children have "presents" for mommy. Pull out Duck's last diaper. Curse. Change any clothing soaked with juice from breakfast, distribute socks and shoes. Attempt to locate purse, wallet, keys, grocery list, coupons and shoes.
10:30am Herd children towards the door to leave for store. Open door to frigid blast. Curse. Attempt to locate jackets while children scatter. Locate jackets, lure children back to living room with Noggin. Head to WalMart.
11:50am Leave WalMart. Drive thru at Starbucks and decide to try the Dulce de Leche Latte. Drive home in stunned and cautious silence as the kids allow mommy five seconds to enjoy coffee (perhaps they sense the better day they'll have afterwards?)
12:00pm Return home from WalMart. Unload children and groceries from van. Put frozen dinners in microwave for lunch. Take kid's clothes out of dryer, transfer sheets to dryer, shove and beg Frog's gastric-content decorated comforter into washer. Put groceries away. Find several cans of coffee cream at the back of pantry. Curse. Yell at Remind kids that the Playstation is not their toy. Wonder what I forgot.
12:30pm Remember frozen dinners in microwave. Call Frog and Duck to the table. Realize breakfast still needs to be cleaned up. Curse. Clean up breakfast, place lunch on table. Finish Latte while Frog and Duck eat. Lamb (thankfully) continues his nap he started on the way home.
12:45pm Realize mommy needs food too. Put frozen sandwich in microwave. Check washer and dryer. Return to living room and look woefully at the pile of clothes that used to be a couch.
1:00pm Begin cleaning up lunch. Realize the pile of goo next to Frog's chair is actually her diaper contents. Curse. Realize her chair is also full of diaper contents. Curse loudly. Wonder how exactly to go about cleaning said contents. Settle on a full bath. Take Frog to bath, realize Duck is still running loose and far too quiet. Hurry into living room just in time to see Duck dump the entire cup of Frog's milk on the floor. Quickly grab Duck before he can play in the now bigger mess, gate him into the bedroom area. Return to Frog's bath.
1:15pm Finish bath, return attention to the still-present mess in the dining room. Remove booster from chair, rinse with hose, marvel at self for buying a dishwasher safe booster long before owning an actual dishwasher, wonder what it would've been like if booster was not detachable. Head to hamper to dispose of towel used to clean the milk, poke head in on Frog and Duck. Find Duck mostly disrobed, attempting to change his own diaper. Change Duck's diaper. Redress Duck. Return to cleaning the area of spilled milk.
1:30pm Remember sandwich in microwave. Debate current hunger level against the sight of the diaper mess. Decide hunger is still there. Wash hands several times in scalding water. Apply alcohol-based hand sanitizer for good measure. Twice. Sit down to watch Knitty Gritty while eating. Marvel that Lamb is still napping in his car seat. Savor the 70 degree breeze coming through the now open windows and say a little thanks to the powers that be for the warm-up.
2:00pm Finish watching Knitty Gritty. Head to the master bath to begin cleaning while wondering if Easter egg dye would be suitable for hand-painting yarn. Decide to try it when (IF) the cleaning is finished. Realize this morning's plan to begin with the master bath and work forward starting at 9:00am has really gone to hell. Say another silent thanks to TPTB that Lamb is still napping. Poke head in on Frog and Duck. Wonder where Duck ran off to. Find Duck asleep under his bed. Decide to leave him there and spare the rest of us his cranky wrath. Begin cleaning master bath.
3:00pm Master and kids' bath are clean. Toxic diaper pail is taken to the outside trash can. Duck awakens cranky and hungry. Snack is served. Decide to wake Lamb and feed him before he discovers he's been sleeping and becomes cross about it.
3:40pm Finish feeding Lamb. Quickly place Lamb in swing and stop Duck's escape attempt. Drag Duck back in from the porch kicking and screaming.
4:00pm Gate Frog and Duck into the bedroom area. Check washer and dryer. Sheets still not dry.Remake master bed with spare sheets. Begin removing clutter from master bedroom.
5:00pm Finish master bedroom. Irritate everyone's coughs and allergies by vacuuming and dusting (yes, dusting. try not to faint). Contemplate supper. Decide today's accomplishments warrant a little laziness and settle on hotdogs with pre-packaged salad. Lamb takes this decision as a cue to become very vocal about his empty tummy.
5:40pm Finish feeding Lamb. Start cooking supper. Check dryer. Sheets still wet. Start dryer again, checking outside vent for blockage and lint filter. Sneak a peek at the master bedroom and bath, taking a moment to soak in the cleanness.
6:00pm DH arrives home and saves himself from several weeks of misery by supplying the appropriate response of "wow" upon seeing the bedroom and bathrooms. Bonus points awarded for taking Lamb without complaint. Supper is ready to serve. Frog and Duck are called to the table and are seated after chasing each other around the table.
6:10pm UPS arrives with Lamb's Maya Wrap. Package is immediately ripped open for an impromptu fashion show.
6:15pm Lamb decides he's quite done with mommy's silliness and gets vocal about his hunger.
6:45pm Frog and Duck finish supper and run off to their room. Attempts are made to locate pajamas in the immense pile of clothes on the couch. Duck objects to the word "bedtime".
7:15pm Frog and Duck are in bed. Settling in with a nice Abita Resoration Ale and some very well earned knitting in front of the TV.
6:30am Awakened to say goodbye to DH, Lamb laid in arms and bottle given. Listen to Frog and Duck play as Lamb eats.
7:30am Change and put Lamb down. Proceed to take care of daily needs, such as inserting contact lenses backwards. Curse. Reinsert contacts, finish morning grooming.
8:00am Release the hounds Call Frog and Duck to breakfast table, complete with cereal and juice. Realize we're out of milk. Curse. Let children eat dry cereal and watch Noggin. Contemplate making coffee. Realize we're also out of creamer. Curse. Check to see if Diva's home to lend some. She's not. Curse.
8:45am Frog and Duck finish food fight eating, lure them into their room with Blue's Clues DVD. Lamb screams from his bassinet. Pick up Lamb, pacify with swing.
9:00am Strip all the beds, place sheets in wash. Realize we're out of laundry detergent. Curse. Find old bottle of detergent left by parents two years ago, make due with that and start washer.
9:30am Lamb screams from swing. Prepare bottle to feed Lamb. Realize that this is the last of the formula. Curse. Feed Lamb.
10:00am Change all diapers and/or pull-ups. All three children have "presents" for mommy. Pull out Duck's last diaper. Curse. Change any clothing soaked with juice from breakfast, distribute socks and shoes. Attempt to locate purse, wallet, keys, grocery list, coupons and shoes.
10:30am Herd children towards the door to leave for store. Open door to frigid blast. Curse. Attempt to locate jackets while children scatter. Locate jackets, lure children back to living room with Noggin. Head to WalMart.
11:50am Leave WalMart. Drive thru at Starbucks and decide to try the Dulce de Leche Latte. Drive home in stunned and cautious silence as the kids allow mommy five seconds to enjoy coffee (perhaps they sense the better day they'll have afterwards?)
12:00pm Return home from WalMart. Unload children and groceries from van. Put frozen dinners in microwave for lunch. Take kid's clothes out of dryer, transfer sheets to dryer, shove and beg Frog's gastric-content decorated comforter into washer. Put groceries away. Find several cans of coffee cream at the back of pantry. Curse. Yell at Remind kids that the Playstation is not their toy. Wonder what I forgot.
12:30pm Remember frozen dinners in microwave. Call Frog and Duck to the table. Realize breakfast still needs to be cleaned up. Curse. Clean up breakfast, place lunch on table. Finish Latte while Frog and Duck eat. Lamb (thankfully) continues his nap he started on the way home.
12:45pm Realize mommy needs food too. Put frozen sandwich in microwave. Check washer and dryer. Return to living room and look woefully at the pile of clothes that used to be a couch.
1:00pm Begin cleaning up lunch. Realize the pile of goo next to Frog's chair is actually her diaper contents. Curse. Realize her chair is also full of diaper contents. Curse loudly. Wonder how exactly to go about cleaning said contents. Settle on a full bath. Take Frog to bath, realize Duck is still running loose and far too quiet. Hurry into living room just in time to see Duck dump the entire cup of Frog's milk on the floor. Quickly grab Duck before he can play in the now bigger mess, gate him into the bedroom area. Return to Frog's bath.
1:15pm Finish bath, return attention to the still-present mess in the dining room. Remove booster from chair, rinse with hose, marvel at self for buying a dishwasher safe booster long before owning an actual dishwasher, wonder what it would've been like if booster was not detachable. Head to hamper to dispose of towel used to clean the milk, poke head in on Frog and Duck. Find Duck mostly disrobed, attempting to change his own diaper. Change Duck's diaper. Redress Duck. Return to cleaning the area of spilled milk.
1:30pm Remember sandwich in microwave. Debate current hunger level against the sight of the diaper mess. Decide hunger is still there. Wash hands several times in scalding water. Apply alcohol-based hand sanitizer for good measure. Twice. Sit down to watch Knitty Gritty while eating. Marvel that Lamb is still napping in his car seat. Savor the 70 degree breeze coming through the now open windows and say a little thanks to the powers that be for the warm-up.
2:00pm Finish watching Knitty Gritty. Head to the master bath to begin cleaning while wondering if Easter egg dye would be suitable for hand-painting yarn. Decide to try it when (IF) the cleaning is finished. Realize this morning's plan to begin with the master bath and work forward starting at 9:00am has really gone to hell. Say another silent thanks to TPTB that Lamb is still napping. Poke head in on Frog and Duck. Wonder where Duck ran off to. Find Duck asleep under his bed. Decide to leave him there and spare the rest of us his cranky wrath. Begin cleaning master bath.
3:00pm Master and kids' bath are clean. Toxic diaper pail is taken to the outside trash can. Duck awakens cranky and hungry. Snack is served. Decide to wake Lamb and feed him before he discovers he's been sleeping and becomes cross about it.
3:40pm Finish feeding Lamb. Quickly place Lamb in swing and stop Duck's escape attempt. Drag Duck back in from the porch kicking and screaming.
4:00pm Gate Frog and Duck into the bedroom area. Check washer and dryer. Sheets still not dry.Remake master bed with spare sheets. Begin removing clutter from master bedroom.
5:00pm Finish master bedroom. Irritate everyone's coughs and allergies by vacuuming and dusting (yes, dusting. try not to faint). Contemplate supper. Decide today's accomplishments warrant a little laziness and settle on hotdogs with pre-packaged salad. Lamb takes this decision as a cue to become very vocal about his empty tummy.
5:40pm Finish feeding Lamb. Start cooking supper. Check dryer. Sheets still wet. Start dryer again, checking outside vent for blockage and lint filter. Sneak a peek at the master bedroom and bath, taking a moment to soak in the cleanness.
6:00pm DH arrives home and saves himself from several weeks of misery by supplying the appropriate response of "wow" upon seeing the bedroom and bathrooms. Bonus points awarded for taking Lamb without complaint. Supper is ready to serve. Frog and Duck are called to the table and are seated after chasing each other around the table.
6:10pm UPS arrives with Lamb's Maya Wrap. Package is immediately ripped open for an impromptu fashion show.
6:15pm Lamb decides he's quite done with mommy's silliness and gets vocal about his hunger.
6:45pm Frog and Duck finish supper and run off to their room. Attempts are made to locate pajamas in the immense pile of clothes on the couch. Duck objects to the word "bedtime".
7:15pm Frog and Duck are in bed. Settling in with a nice Abita Resoration Ale and some very well earned knitting in front of the TV.
Labels: parenting
posted by wlturland at
10:07 AM
5 Comments:
hey that beer looks familiar!
It should... I was drinking it at your house!
Wow, for some reason I never really wanted kids, but your blog has really assured me why. Thanks for illuminating me....
Kids can frustrate you, drain you, drive you absolutely crazy if you aren't already there, and completely exhaust you, but I can't even begin to describe how very rewarding and so very very worth it all of that is. It's something that just has to be experienced.
Boy does this take me back a few years. My kids are much older now, and one has actually left the "nest." I wouldn't trade anything for the experiences I've shared with my kids though...the good and the bad...it's made me who I am today.
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