An Excerpt

I was "in the zone" tonight. I sat down to puzzle out why my character wasn't following the story line I set out for her. I meant to do a simple character outline and suddenly found myself writing a scene for her. When I had finished, I re-read what I'd written and was flabbergasted by how visceral it was, in my opinion. So, I've decided to share it here because, to completely toot my own horn, I think it's fabulous. This is also completely unedited. It is the original brain dump that fell out of my fingers. Enjoy, or don't. Either way, say something!

      "You're la-ate!" she sang out over the doorbell.
      The wet rip as the door peeled away from the humid exterior paint of the frame might as well have been the sound as her smile peeled off her face when she laid eyes on her ex at the foot of the steps.
      "Look, I know that I've done alot to you, and that I'm asking alot standing here now..." he began as her reflexes clutched her right arm, still in its cast, to her stomach. "...but I wanted you to know that I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of it."
      He slid his hand into his pocket and she cringed hard enough to make him wince in response. He seemed to slow his movements to keep from frightening her further as he produced a small box.
      "I really.." he trailed off while his sausage fingers fumbled with the lid. "I really do love you."
The lid snapped back to show a diamond ring nestled in its velvet folds. She gasped as she felt her face and hands go cold, just before the voice of an old memory poured through her head.
      "From the feet, to the hips." it said.
      She turned away slightly as he hesitated as he slipped it on to her shaking hand. Her weight shifted with the turn as she raised her arm to bring the flawless brilliance that now circled her finger into view.
      "Then into the shoulder, like a spring let loose." the voice finished.
      Her hand flew forward, the white flash turned ruby as a gash appeared in his cheek, fueled by the hundred pounds of her body weight behind the blow. Now lubricated, the ring slid off with ease as she tossed it at his feet and slammed the door. She threw the lock and collapsed against frame, bloody smears following her to the ground as dry heaves took over her body.